Testing

This is a test using an iPhone app to blog. I like the landscape mode of typing. We shall see how it appears. The word wrap is nice too.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We built this city?

I hear of people that do not like where they live. It is sad. You can live where you want. We are in an information age now. People offer up excuses like 'my kids are in school'. That is lame.
Moving from one school to another teaches kids social skills and how to adapt to different environments. Those lessons will help you later in life. You need those skills to network in your chosen profession.
I am not advocating moving to a city that has no jobs. However if you do not like where you live then move. There are people that love where they live.
Go find your dream and make it happen. Don't find obstacles find solutions.

Waiting for something better?

We all have dated someone and thought 'I can do better than that.' I've done it. It has been done to me either up front or passively.

I am a hopeless romantic. I thoroughly enjoy that process and all that goes along with it. So, when I date, I want that to be a part of it, the romance, the look, the chemistry and all that goes along with it. I wonder if I am looking past what I see in front of me because all of that is not there for me to see.

I thought about the reverse to be true here too. I am not the best looking guy out there. I probably over compensate for that with my charm, my wit, my intelligence and my humor. I need those qualities to get a girls attention. It is what it is. Naturally this made me wonder if the reverse is true as well. Girls like that guy with broad shoulders, risk taker and such. See previous post on that. On the surface I represent none of that. They don't see all my great qualities. Are they doing the same thing?

Love is not something you capture and keep. Love is something you grow and nuture over time. You will not "capture" that when you first meet someone. Moreover, you will not "see" those qualities you were not necessarily looking for.

It is always interesting to see dating profiles for women to say "they want a guy to make them laugh." Well most comedians are single, yet they make women laugh because of their unique nature.

I guess all of this goes to the old adage 'you don't judge a book by its cover'. This holds true not only for those of us that are marginally good looking but those that are in fact very good looking. This works on boths sides of the fence. Guys are just as bad about this as women are.

Guys see the beautiful girl, usually blonde, nice rack and are attracted to them. That's the cover. If you want to read book covers all your life, go for them and have fun. The book sleeve tells you something. Once you start reading the book however, you will see something different altogether.

So while my book cover is not the best, what is inside is a Pulitzer prize winning story. I need to ultimately remember that when I am on dates.

The only reason I write this post is that I have a lot of female friends. My book cover is not that enticing but my story is worth reading. Some of them I have found attractive but yet they don't see me that way. That is what ultimately precipitated this post and provoked me to think internally not only about their behaviour but mine as well.

Douchebags and hot chicks

I go out a lot and I regularly see douchebags with the hot chick. It is as normal as the clear blue sky. What most don't realize is that those girls are usually thrill seekers. Meaning, they look for that guy that rides his bike really fast, lives on the edge, has tattoos and things like that. She may be hot, but in reality she is probably very emotionally insecure and thus seeks thrill and adventure to offset that.

Now we also see these type of couples where said douchebag really treats the girl bad. We think, why is she with him. He's a douchebag. This goes back to the insecurity. We see a beautiful woman and she sees an ugly woman in the mirror. She probably figures she cannot do better and also gets to do thrill seeking things. His indifference to this is what attracts her.

Let me explain. I explained this concept of "holding your cards" to someone the other day. They lamented "I do not play games." You are not playing games. You are just showing a little bit of yourself at a time. After all, relationships build over time. You show more and more of yourself as time progresses. Showing more and more of yourself as time progresses is a means of "holding your cards".

From a woman's perspective, which I am not, while that independent streak is good to grow your career and/or family, it may not be good in attracting a mate. Hear me out on this one. Most guys are emotionally wired to be providers. Food, clothing shelter. I know we are in a day and age where that is not necessary. Women now are doing that role. However, even if financially, women are providers, emotionally, I think the source of strength is from the guy. One person in the relationship has to be a dominant one and the other not as much. This is not predicated upon the financial part, but the emotional part. You may say, that the man is not the emotional one in the relationship. They are not. However, most guys want to be the proverbial "knight and shining armour" in the relationship. That is a clash with the independent streak.

We, men, also like the chase. I believe that this goes back to the caveman days of being the hunter and gatherers. This chase does include chasing a girl who we really like. Ladies, if you give out all your cards right up front, what is there to chase? You are not playing games, you are just slowly showing what you are made of.

I know from personal experience, my best relationships have been where I have been that Knight that source of strength. I really reveled in it.

Now, going back to the douchebag. He is probably somewhat "take it or leave it" in the relationship. However, he is the strength and that is what draws the girl to him. She probably has insecurities and is attracted to that strength and of course that thrill.

I don't suggest men go out and by leather pants and a harley. However, I do suggest that the proverbial nice guy never gets laid. To quote the TV show 'Two and Half Men'. "Nice guys don't finish last, they finish in the shower." What dudes need to realize is that you do not have to be mean to a girl to get her attention. You just have to not be so nice. If you are a kiss ass, you are not going to get attention, you are going to get her problems, namely, her last boyfriend did this and her family problems.

Get attention by not paying attention. The best way to get a woman's attention is to ignore her. If it is to easy to get your attention, then she doesn't have to work. I mean really. Why did she get all dolled up, go out to the bar with her girlfriends and not make a guy work. Notice her, strike up a conversation but act disinterested. She didn't do all that work just to have a guy slide easily into conversation and kiss him. She got dolled up to make you work and you should work. To counter that to get her to look at you, show disinterest and honestly flirt with other girls too.

That is another tip. Do not zone in on just one girl. Spread that flirting around. This shows the girl that she has to work for you.

So all in all the douchebag does get the hot chick cuz, he is ambivalent, makes her work for that and doesn't show all his cards readily. Yes, the dude had the bike. For whatever reason, hot chicks love speed. However, that only lasts so long. Other things weigh in too as I have said before.

Perfect Storm?

It is rare that I am in this good of mood without a significant other. It is even rarer that this happen during the holiday season. Add to that I took significant time off. I think that choice helped fuel this perfect storm. Moreover I know have a very adept significant communication vehicle in the iPhone. As a matter of fact this post is done on the iPhone. A
zing for me. I can type very well on this phone.

As all my zero readers know. I write better in public places than at home. I feed off peoples energy. It is what it is I guess

So these things have fueled my perfect storm. I cannot remember being this happy at Christmas without a girlfriend. Seriously. I am loving my perfect storm!!!

Right where I should be...

2009 started out with great energy. I got new floors for my house, started going on out on dates. I had new years resolutions, typed out and carried them around with me.

Did I accomplish all of them. Some but not all. That is not what this post is about however.

Early in the year I dated this girl, that ultimately made me break down and cry with my mom, in a good way. You see my relationship with my mom is not strained. However, I love my mom. She's my mom. However, in life you have to deal with accepting people for who they are. Through dating this girl, I reached out to try and re-establish a relationship with my mom. It's a work in progress as I look back on things. Regardless, I accepted her for who she is, as my mom, she has her gifts to give me. That day was a watershed moment for me. Crying with your mom on the phone is a hard thing to do, especially when when one of her gifts is not to be maternal. It is what is is. She has other gifts that she gives me and I'm good with that.

Sadly the girl never lasted for a litany of reasons that cannot be listed here. Suffice to say, that relationship had a very symbolic meaning to me and my life. Therapy is a great thing.

So, I got off topic, but the year progressed. With the explosion of Facebook in my life, my world has gotten better. This is good for me, as I am a communicator. Communication is my security blanket. If I communicate with my friends, this makes me feel more secure. It is what it is. Therefore, Facebook helps me in that aspect. It draws me closer to my friends. I think it has made my life better in a positive way.

Volleyball of course has been and will be a source of my physical activity, and yet my social network.

So, 2009 progressed, dating (more dates this year than in most other years combined), networking, my job got better and drew closer to some old friends and found some amazing new ones.

In November, I had an epiphany. I finally realized, that this is the exact spot in life where I am supposed to be. Huge moment for me as I turned 45, single and no kids. In your 40's you finally realize that you are mortal and your body changes. You realize that there is an end per se, that your body is not indestructible.

So given all the highs and lows that I've endured this year and throughout life, I am totally right where I should be. All I've been through has set me up for this next phase of my life. I am right where I should be.

iPhone test

This is a test of my typing skills on the iPhone. I am typing rather fast here and doing well. I may be able to fully blog from my iPhone now. This is sweet!!! Merry Christmas to me!

Emotional Confusion

Christmas is a time of reflection for me. If you've read my previous posts, I recently attempted to rekindle a flame to no avail.

I sit here thinking of Christmas and memories. Sometimes the sadness evoked emotional confusion. One where I think of her and one of sadness where I think of my childhood. Again, if you read my posts, you know that my childhood is better left in the past. Most want to go back to being a kid again. I do not want to go back to that pain. I seem to only remember pain.

Yet the loss that I just took with the lost love confuses me as I think of my childhood pain. I think of both in the same emotion. I know through the therapy that this break up mirrored the loss of my mother at the age of seven. (She didn't die, but for all practical purposes, I never had a maternal mother after that. My step mother was not maternal at all.)

It is just weird as I sit here listening to Christmas Lullaby by Mannheim Steamroller, looking at my tree. Her loss and my mother's loss seem emotionally intertwined.

Too stupid?

I have dated a lot of women in the last year. Some good, some not so good. It is what it is.

However, it makes me wonder about things. Is there something wrong with me?

No matter who I date, I always walk away and think, she's too stupid to realize what a great guy I am.

I know I'm a great guy. I am fit, dress well, smart, great job, I have a house, I have dreams and aspirations and I am chivalrous. All those qualities lead to being a great guy and I am that.

However, when a lady I date does not see that, I immediately think, she's a dufus for not seeing what a great guy I am. But, this is a script that is happening over and over again, or so it seems. It makes me feel like I'm taken for granted or doing something wrong.

I am not sure here, as this is being repeated so much. Am I picking the wrong ladies to date? Are they stupid? Am I stupid?

I just get tired of running the "that bitch is stupid" through my head each time a girl just doesn't "get it". Why aren't all those qualities being seen? Are they invisible? Am I invisible?

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "you will meet the right one", I'd be able to take a cruise for 7 days or something. I hear that a lot. It gets old hearing that.

So all that makes me wonder, I am I too stupid?

Acceptance?

I never go home for the holidays for probably two reasons. One, my family never offers to pay to see me. It kind of makes me feel like, well, you can come home but you are not important enough for us to pay to get you here. I come from a large family, 3 brothers, an older sister and a younger half sister. I mean if they really wanted to see me, they'd pay, right?

The other reason is that I'd drink myself silly after being in one room with all of them. This is one of the reasons the holidays can be hard on me. All this love and family chit. At the moment I am single, so you have the impending new year's eve date night and you have all this family time.

Family is what you make it and I know that. I have a very good core Texas family here. People that I know and love and love me unconditionally. Most know my background, the pain, the suffering and hardship. That is why they are my family. My real family in Nebraska, I am not sure of. They were all there during that crap. Each, to their own credit, dealt with those issues in their own way. Collectively, in a room, at a time when family should be cherished, all that baggage comes out to play. It is not the ideal situation, but it is what it is.

This leads me to this thought. I have always avoided the holiday gatherings for those two reasons. However, it led me to think about my perspective on this.

Should I accept my family for what it is? Have I done this? I don't know. I wrote this years ago but it's so true. Does it apply to family too?

Learning to love yourself is about accepting yourself as who you are. Once that acceptance is gained and believed, the love comes easily.

Learning to love your family is about accepting yourself as who you are and accepting them as who they are. Once this acceptance is gained and believed, the love comes easily for your family.

It is the old adage, you can choose your friends, but you cannot chose your family. I am wondering if I can gain that acceptance of my family, that I would be able to tolerate holidays better.

I don't know if they will accept me as who I am. However, I think in the long run I need to accept them as who they are.

A lot of them seem to think that as family you have a certain set of responsibilities and obligations. I don't believe in obligations other than paying bills. If I feel obligated to go to Nebraska for the holidays, I won't go. Period. End of story. I want to go back when I'm ready to accept it for what it is. Once I have that, I can tolerate it better and be a better family member. Until then, I need to stay away. I have enough stress as it is, don't need more, yanno?

Extremes

As Billy Joel sang 'I go to extremes'. My life is a series of extremes. The highs and the lows and the middles.

Last night was one of those highs. I was surrounded by so much positive energy last night that I had an adrenaline rush afterward. My creative energy was very much flowing even into today.

It started out as a happy hour to have margaritas with 3 or 4 of us. Nothing special. We posted stuff on FB, not knowing what the turnout would be. Well the turnout was great. At one point there were 15 people there. All laughing, having drinks from a 23 flavor dr. pepper to margaritas. We ate, we drank, we laughed.

For me it was so positive that each time I looked up there were more people showing up. It made me quite happy to say the least. I loved it and when all was said and done, it was one of the best nights ever and I was sober.

It's a great feeling being in a room full of people that do not take you for granted. Each one of them was happy to see me and showed it. It was just a phenomenal feeling being in that room.

I even got to talk movies which easily gets me going. It was such a good night that I wanted to blog about it. I know I will experience lows again, as such is life. This way, I can look back on this night and realize the highs also.

You have to experience the lows to appreciate the highs in life.

Rejection

Baseball players are paid millions of dollars to hit a ball 30 percent of the time.

I wonder what the averages are for dating. Guys, what is your average? I walked over and asked a girl her name. She had the prettiest eyes that smiled. I loved them. We exchanged pleasantries before that when she was walking to the restroom, so she was "available for approach". I got this weird look. However to my point about rejection. We as guys have to expect to hit only 30 percent of the time. You have to expect rejection when flirting with a woman. You don't know what the pitcher is going to throw, so expect that.

I remember a story years ago about this guy. He was in college and was terrified of rejection. One day he got up the resolve to go out and ask for dates from the co-eds. His goal was to ask 10 girls out that day. Anyway, he did just that. He expected 100% rejection. However that is not what he got. He actually did much better than that. He conquered his fear of rejection.

I have that awful fear of rejection. That is why I am so nice, so I will not get rejected. It is why I am a giver and do things for people. If I do things for people they won't reject me. I constantly do that and that even do tons of charity work with my money and time, because there won't be rejection there. Charity work is the best way to avoid rejection.

On a deep level, my rejection stems from my mother's "rejection" of me after the divorce. I made a conscious effort after that to be good and thus never get rejection. See my previous post about my parents.

This is something I have worked on over the years in therapy and on my own.

Forgotten Love

Let me start out this story with with a recollection of a girl I dated earlier in the year. She was a mutual acquaintance of a friend that I literally met on FB. We met for margaritas one Sunday after I played volleyball. It was instant chemistry. we ended up spending the night together. I never had to be anybody when I was with her. Our subsequent dates were like that and then I never heard from her. I deleted her from FB and her phone number. I dated others since her and never could get her out of my mind. Nobody matched up.

Could it have been some revisionist history in my eyes? I don't know. Never felt instant chemistry like that. Never felt that kind of energy with a woman of all the people I dated.

Fast forward six months and I decide to add her back on FB. She immediately accepted. I was ecstatic but cautious in the same breath. Anyway, so I was following her posts and it was cool.

I noticed that she had not posted anything, so I did a search for her of my friends and she was gone. :( My heart immediately sank.

I am so stupid. I sent her a message with the add stating that I missed her and that's the reason why I added her. I told her to have a good holiday if I don't hear from her. I left it at that.

I have never chased anyone. I am very cold when it comes to that. If they don't want me around, then so be it. However, I could not go through life with this one 'what if' over my head. She knows how I feel and it's for her to decide now. It is out of my hands.

It is best to forget forgotten love, if that makes sense. It will never be as it was.

December 11, 2009. It is official. She ignored my request. I am sad but yet I have closure. I am using the word ONWARD and reaching back to reconnect does not apply to that. Oh well.

December 22, 2009. I get an add request from her from the night before. I accept and then she's gone again. Things that make you go hmmmm.

Parents

This post brought to you by Dos Equis. For the best epiphany's, drink Dos Equis.

So, I am thinking about people in general. I have friends whereby their parents have been together for 20+ years. I find that commitment remarkable quite frankly.

By contrast, my parents literally hated each other after their divorce when I was 8. I grew up knowing and understanding that hatred for a person of the opposite sex. My dad got the kids, long story there. Mind you this was in the very early 1970s where divorce was still frowned upon, especially in a Catholic family.

Mom got to see us four times a year. Those were the most painful memories as I'd get excited to see her and then cry myself to sleep every night for two weeks thereafter when we got back home. It didn't help that they hated each other too. I don't hate anyone ever, yet this was apparently the feeling or so I felt as a very impressionable 8 year old. One 8 year old that was at the side of his mom constantly up to that point.

So now when I hear of parents that are still together after 20+ years, I was once envious. Now I am not. Why? Because that hatred, that divorce and subsequent things led me to be who I am today. Today, I am a damn good human being who treats people how they want to be treated.

Yes, they hated each other but yet that helped me. I fully believe that they are better off divorced. I know even at my dad's funeral my mother could not have a nice word to say about him. As we all know in relationships, there is good and bad. Moreover, there is a reason why you were together in the first place. I believe that both my mom and dad were together in the first place for a romantic ideal. It is just sad that even at my dad's funeral, that my own mother could not remember that very reason.

I am a divorcee. My ex-wife and I split over 7 years ago. Yet, I look back at the good times and how well she treated me. Did we split on amicable terms? Totally. Yet, I choose, literally, I choose to remember the good she did for me. Nobody, and I mean nobody ever treated me better during the holiday's than her, my own family included. I learned so much about myself and I buried the anger/resentment about all the other crap. That is of no use to me. Even if someone were to run smack about her, I'd stand up for her.

So, growing up with a hatred between my parents was extremely hard. I was so jealous of others whose parents were together. Yet, tonight at the ripe age of 45, I had an epiphany that if it weren't for that hatred and subsequent circumstances, I would not be the person I am today. My dream of acting would not be so vibrant and real in my world even. So for their hatred I am actually thankful, because it gave me substance and character.

Can i describe faith as believing in karma and how the universe works? Does this make me have faith rather than be devoid of it?

Single?

So I am out and about as always. I always notice couples. I try to sense the energy and watch their behaviors. I see couples and such. Makes me wonder why I am single? I see dudes with chicks and wonder why she is not with me.

Yet, I see purportedly single chicks when out and about. I am thinking, are they really single? Are they just on a girls night out? All those things come to mind. I think of a line to engage them. Mind you I am not mr. cheesy line guy. I am actually intelligent and it never fails that I get a number. Yet, it's the mentality that I have about being single.

I was having a chat with my best friend after decorating my tree. She was wondering about guys who want a younger girl. I told her, as she's a young girl approaching her 30's, is that why do we want to look at a woman who is our age? We are hoping to hold back that aging process that we, in our 40's are going through. It is quite simply a means of having maybe what we didn't have in our 20's. It's psychological at best. A means of holding on to our youth per se.

This begs the original question of being out and about. Why do I see a pretty woman and wonder if she's compatible? Am I alone in doing that? Or, is this a primitive way of being human to attracting a mate?

It just makes me ponder where I am sitting there, thinking about this person and all that.

Companionship

As I embark on two weeks off I am wondering what to do and such. My thoughts have trailed to companionship.

You have to be comfortable with yourself. I am constantly reviewing who I am. In that process I become more comfortable who I am. I wonder if I will ever be comfortable there. That leads me to ask, am I wrong in thinking that I am wired to have a companion, yet most of my life I have been single. I am not a serial dater. Yet, 2009, I have dated more women in one year than I have in a long time.

Moreover, to start with I come out of the gate treating a lady well. I always come away feeling under appreciated and taken for granted. Is that a take on myself or the women I choose.

I heard a comedian say that the day you become comfortable with yourself a woman comes along and fucks it all up. It was comedy mind you and got a laugh. I don't agree. I think that you find someone who compliments you not completes you, for you are complete. Yet being comfortable with yourself means being complete, per se, right? Is this kind of a catch-22 then?

Single but do not settle?

Is this really true?

The lady I spoke with last night brought this up. She attested that this was me hiding behind something or there were some unresolved issues. It was brought up that I had been burnt before and I was hiding behind that.

Is this really the truth? Am I afraid of intimacy thus avoiding being vulnerable? To take this further, I do say "she is not X" thus I become friends instead of lovers rather than saying "lets see where this goes".

I am seriously pondering if this is a defense mechanism rather than the truth. I am now leaning towards that conclusion as the outcomes of my past relationships. It is just a thought that I'd blog about.

Escalantes

Last night, I went to Escalantes near my house. I wanted a top shelf margarita. I walk in and there's this chair next to this gorgeous woman and this big dude. They were talking, so I asked the lady if that seat was taken. I took it and what ensued was those two flirting with me smack in the middle. It was quite like a tennis match, serve and volley. She was obviously attracted to him and vice versa. They actually brought me into the conversation and i was totally entertained. Turned out he was a football coach at Texas Southern. She on the other hand I could never find out.

Regardless, I listened and interacted, having a couple margaritas and water with my meal. Finally the coach had to leave and they exchanged numbers. She was like 'you better call me'. It was funny later as she told me she had to initiate it the interaction and apparently it started once I got there looking for a seat.

She and I then had a deep conversation about things. She had a degree in clinical psychology, so needless to say I was getting analyzed, regardless of her indifference to that supposition. We talked about relationships, her kids, the coach and her friend that was off taking a test nearby for school.

It was interesting as she wanted to buy me a drink, even after she was swooning over the coach. It was too funny. I declined as I had two top shelf margaritas, my limit. Still it was great to get offered a drink from a very gorgeous woman. Nice feeling for Kelito.

I found out she has a sugar daddy, literally. She is getting a solitaire diamond ring from her sugar daddy on Friday even though she doesn't love him. She was flirting with the coach for a side dude, per her admission. It was quite interesting to find this out after coach was gone.

Finally her friend showed up after her test, and more jabbering about the coach, about my deep conversation with her. At the end of the day, I get dubbed a "cool cat" and we exchanged numbers. Needless to say, I doubt I'll call them.

Curse of Empathy and Listening

I often meet beautiful women. I can naturally engage almost anyone. The more of a challenge it is, the higher risk it is and the more I am apt to do it.

Tell me I cannot do something and I will find a way to do it. I am just that way.

So, I have this gift where I am empathetic to people. I naturally have my guard down, i.e. people are not necessarily drawn to me yet they feel comfortable talking to me. Women love as although I have a Y chromosone, they can talk to me. Thus comes along the curse of empathy and listening.

I was born partially deaf. It is what it is. I talk normally as for whatever reason I know the sound of my own voice. Most partially deaf people do not know their own voice thus it does not sound intelligible to those who can hear normally. However, because of it, I am a fairly good listener. I have to be to keep up literally. Sometimes, I don't do so well. I work at it and it's a challenge. A hearing aid does well.

Part of how I treat people is because of this challenge that I have. Yet, when I meet a pretty girl, it tends to morph into their problems.

This makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me. As some of my previous posts I ponder who I am and being comfortable in my own skin. That is a constant work in progress I believe. So, should I change my tactic be more aloof when I meet a girl I like? I don't know. It just some food for thought.

Thanksgiving 2009

I will start at last night. I was hungry and quite frankly wanted a couple beers too. I headed off to Escalantes, my favorite watering hole. Enchiladas mariscos (seafood enchiladas) and a couple Dos Equis and I felt great. I was right where I wanted to be.

My friend Pam, text me, was hungry and thirsty. I told her where I was and she met me there. We had a deep conversation about life, liberty and my pursuit of fukkedupness. No topic went uncovered. I tried her margarita. Great move then. Bad move now. Never mix alcohol and beer. Anyway, it was good and I had a couple of them too.

I headed home and had a few stellas, listened to music, while on facebook and twitter.

Every year, I dial up Mannheim Steamroller's version of O Holy Night. This song, conjures up memories of being in catholic church as a kid. My dad ran the choir and during midnight mass they'd sing that song. It always puts a lump in my throat. If you didn't know, my dad passed away June 2000. Add that song and my inebriation and you get me grieving. I cried a lot. I cry every year for his loss. To be brutally honest, that's a good thing. It's good to miss one and not hold on to those emotions. As I write this recount of last night, I feel good that I cried. It's gone and quite frankly, now I am going to focus on great memories that I have of Thanksgiving and Christmas. My goal is to write down some of those memories. I will try to reminisce about good memories over this holiday season. Keep them written down and maybe even blog about them.

I think blogging about my pain helps me exorcise it in a way. I have grieved anonymously every year, sharing it with nobody. This year I shared it a bit on facebook and I think that helped me.

Why do something others make you feel obligated to do? You get one chance on this merry go round called life. Do stuff you want to do.

Action not words

Why are there people out there that are all talk and no action?

What possesses them to be "oh yeah that's great, we should do that!!!" and then never follow up on it? I don't get it. I have been disappointed by people all my life, especially with family. A lot of, yeah we will do that and they never followed up on it. Why do I have to deal with it in my adult life. It was bad enough as a child.

It's so tough for me to deal with people like this. I think they have good intentions but never follow up with them. I just get so disappointed all the time by these types of people. It's not even big things like trips, but little things like dinner, or I'll call you. It frustrates the bejesus out of me.

Acting Class 11/24/2009

Tonight I go into class, absent for the better part of a month from class. I went in knowing I would have rust.

We started out with blackout reading, which I love. If you don't know what that is, it's where you get a scene and the scene partner's words are literally blacked out. You literally don't know what is coming next. You go outside, learn your words as best as you can and LISTEN. It is almost as fun as cold reading. Cold reading is way more fun because it teaches the value of listening even further. You just get a script face down on your lap. You look at your scene partner, flip over the script and start the scene. Very much the value of listening, picking up your line, delivering it and listening.

I digress, but we started out doing blackout reading on camera no less. All work is filmed so we can critique it. That went OK. I didn't listen very well. We ran one scene and then were off to another blackout scene.

The second one was from a major motion picture. We took it outside and then put it up on screen. Mine was somewhat listless. However, this scene we decided to work on so we got our notes from our teacher. Took it outside to work on those.

We put it up again, took more notes and quickly put it up. After three takes, literally it came out very well. I got a nice compliment for a portion of a scene where I was totally in the moment and there. I wasn't acting. OMG that's a great feeling to experience. It is an adrenaline rush. I am finally coming down from it.

It was a great night and an excellent start to my five day weekend. It gives me hope in my acting career.

Notes
1. only use the furrow in the brow as needed
2. stay still
3. keep my head upright
4. listen and stay in the moment.

Catholicism

I am not an alcoholic, I'm catholic.

Really, I gave up Catholicism for lent 20 years ago and never looked back.

Holidays

Every year I fight holiday depression. It is a factor on two fronts. One, my family is back in Nebraska. Two, it seems that I date during the year but never have a significant other during this time of the year. Friends are nice, pets are nice, but having someone to share your thoughts and dreams with is different.

The first thing is that I don't go back to Nebraska because, save for my younger sister, I do not miss them. If I went back, I would have to get a hotel room and plenty of alcohol to deal with the ensuing stress and drama that goes on there. Part of my reaction is my own challenges to growing up, parents literally hating each other, various forms of abuse (none physical) and other things that are better left unsaid. I've always said do things that add value to your life. That environment is very toxic, thus I avoid it.

So, I get depressed during the holidays because in large part I never feel special. I have a few close friends that make me feel special. They know who they are. However, it is not the same. It literally pushes my hot button when people say you have your pets. Really? Can you share your hopes and dreams with them? Not likely, but that is another post.

I relate a story several years ago when I was at a bar, hanging out with friends after Christmas. They were going on and on and on about the gifts they got and how they hated them. I had a couple beers in me and uncensored said "I didn't get any gifts." So add insult to injury, they went out and got me "sympathy" gifts. A very insensitive gesture and I felt worse.

So the combination of being alone, no kids and no desire for family time, leads for a challenging holiday for me. I go through this every year.

To combat this, I do volunteer work at the George R. Brown convention center on Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Eve. Also there is the HEB Feast of Sharing there as well that I will work. Throughout the year I give thousands of dollars and hours of my time to charity work to help others less fortunate than me.

Moreover, I do a lot for everyone else during this time of year. I give of my time and money to others in need and will continue to do so. I put aside my own personal depression to help others, friends and family.

This is not a post to garner sympathy, just a post to help understand me and how I feel during the holidays.

Dog replacement therapy

I get this stuff all the time. I get down. Regardless it happens and I deal with it. I get the normal stuff like well you have Ginny, my dog. Really? I have a dog, that is supposed to replace companionship. Ginny is great and a very happy dog really. However, I cannot tell her my hopes, my dreams, about the dufus at work that is clueless and traffic, among other things.

I am probably not a "dog" person per se. But it is a freaking animal, not a human. I want and deserve human companionship with a woman. I see people hide behind their pets and kids, avoiding companionship with people. I'm not like that. I love being around people. I feed off their energy.

Also, I do not get people who can be content with pets only and no human companionship. Life being great with just that. Is there something wrong with me where that is not fulfilling? I love my four legged kids. I even dream about losing them only to wake up to find them.

Am I weird in this perspective?

Hot Pink Socks

So I am out Friday at happy hour with friends. Laughing, eating and having a beer. I notice a “couple” walk in. She’s a tall brunette, 5’11”, slender, Italian looking, 40ish. He is a shorter, grey hair in a pink plaid shirt with glasses. Needless to say, the fashion police has not caught him yet. I carry on with my conversation with my friends. I look over and notice the dude has hot pink socks on with black polka dots. Yes, hot pink socks on a dude. Naturally, I thought he played for the other team. Didn’t think much of it because I didn’t care. Anyway, I’m hanging with my friends and this “couple” goes outside for a smoke. I looked outside and there is grey hair looking up and stealing a kiss from her. I mean really? Seriously! The end.

Celebrity Grave Historian

There is a celebrity grave historian out there?????

I was watching Ted Kennedy's memorial on CNN and they had an expert grave historian on there. There is a dude that his whole life and money revolves around graves. Isn't that kind of morbid.

He goes to gravesite's and does what? Look at the stone and tell me when a person was born and deceased? Is he an expert on historical grave stones too? I don't get where one is talking to mommy and says "mommy, i want to be an expert on historical grave sites". I'm sure his mom was flabbergasted when that epiphany happened.

Infomercial for a Cross

An infomercial cross are u kidding me??

I was sitting at Escalantes and on Telemundo or something like that,there was this infomercial selling a freaking cross. Mind you, I'm not Christian, but this sounded ridiculous at best. I mean really, you have to call a number to get a cross. You cannot go anywhere in a store without finding a cross for sale!!! Why are you going to call some 800 number to get one that is advertised on TV.

I should date strippers or mail order brides. At least I know what I am getting and how much it would cost!!

Diamonds

Women want a chiseled diamond but could not spot a diamond in the rough when it comes to men. They see a lump of coal but in reality it is a diamond.

Tuesday Night Class

Callback night.

We got 5 minutes to just get fresh with the lines and went in off book for the "call back". I was horrible. I had the furrow in my brow, I was blinking a lot but I knew my lines. In both scenes Templar is playful but mysterious and I was none of that.

The teacher gave me direction and some notes and we went back out there to go over it. Thankfully someone had drops for dry contacts, so that helped. I read with one of the classmates and that put me closer to the moment.

Two key things and the "playful" word gave me enough to where my second "call back" was so much better.

Tonight was the first time that words were never an issue and I could focus on the character, being present in the moment.

Key things I remember from tonight.

1. Visualize your scene partner even if the reader isn't paying attention. Know what he or she looks like, what they are wearing and their posture. Know this person and make them there.
2. Bring eye drops and water to class. This eliminates the eye flutter and the licking of the lips.
3. Relax.

A very good night for me. It gave me hope again as it was not there before.

Tuesday Acting Class

I had a good class tonight I think. John switched us up gave us the script from last week and then in the audition, gave a different scene. It was so much fun. I needed to take the time to read it.

It was a scene from "The Saint". My character was Templar.

An experienced actor was in the class and he said "Learn how not to act."

Notes:
Make the most of your lines.
Pack your own chute.
STILL STILL STILL
No furrow in the brow.
Bring water to class.

We doing a "callback" next week for both scenes.

I have notes for these scenes to work on.

Sunday

Let's see what I did today. I got up, took Ginny out. Fixed eggs and toast for breakfast while watching The Open Championship. Tom Watson did not win. :( One par putt on 18 for his 6th Claret Jug at 59.

I went to the laundromat to get my comforter. They had to wash it as Ginny peed on it yesterday. She does that for some reason. In the process I found a glass top for my dining room table. The original one broke when I got new floors. The lady at the laundromat had a living room table with a glass top on it and sold it to me for $50. I measured it and it was the right price. :)

Back to Sunday.

I finished watching The Open Championship (The British Open as Americans call it.)

I took a shower, got dresses and went to the grocery store and the pet store for supplies.

A gal I met on Friday called me. We talked for a bit and she said she'd call me later if she wanted to do something. I've not heard from her yet.

After the store, put away the groceries and indulged in some lunch. I finished the laundry, swept the floors again, changed the linens.

I finally booked the tax deductible date reservation for Saturday night. :) She likes that idea.

I paid my american express bill as Blue Cross and Blue Shield finally paid for my stitches in the Dominican republic. I calculated my finances as I'm not a "checkbook" person per se.

And now, I sit bored on a Sunday evening.

Acting Class Tonight

My first class back in a long, long time. I took off some rust there tonight. We did a scene from a movie. I played a con artist looking to hook up with this lady who had this drug called 'coldfusion'.

Anyway, it was good to shake off the rust tonight and get into a character. I need to remember several things.

Be still.
Drink water before a scene so I do not lick my lips.
Take ownership of the character.
Take chances.
Be still.
Find my motivation.

It was a romantic date scene, so I had to forget "the user". Sometimes that was hard, to shake that. But I'm getting better at creating a quick back story for a character.

Next week we get to cold read and I love that!!!

The Switch

You know, I wish people who suggest that "just forget about her" or "just shut off X emotion". Yeah, if I had that friggin switch, would I feel this way dorkwad and subsequently you would not be listening to me rant. Hello!! Connect the dots!!!!

A little psychology for you here.
I liken our behaviours as programming. You live life and you see various stimuli. Those stimuli that you see and feel, create responses. Over time, when you see the same stimuli, you get conditioned responses. This "programming" gives us our responses to life's situations, good or bad. So that bleeping switch doesn't exist because you are "programmed" to respond that way. So I cannot just turn my backside to you so you can flip that switch and my life will be perfect. It doesn't work that way dumbass.

As for those people that walk around so happy all the time, are you kidding me? I could not live without the highs and lows of life. The lows make me appreciate the highs. I am emotional and it comes and goes. Some days like today, I have lows and I get lonely.


This lonliness will go away some day and someone will be there. It then those lows will help me appreciate what I have.

MLB All-Star Game Commentary

OK. Did you see Erin Andrews? Hottest sports reporter in the business.

I am tired of Chris Berman already. This guy is nuts. Joe Morgan, HOF from the Cincinnati Reds player is annoying too.

Nelson Cruz hit the cover off the ball in his first ever HR derby contest.

I love when they talk about all the retired baseball players. Baseball is all about statistics and history. I always smile when I get to hear from old time baseball players like Stan Musial, Ted Williams and Lou Gehrig.

I can now blog from my phone.

Home Run Derby and ESPN

Is it just me or is Chris Berman annoying? I'd watch this thing if he wasn't announcing. Seriously!! ESPN also has to get rid of that voice over guy. That dude that works on SportsCenter is seriously annoying. He's talking like he's cool or something. I mean for all we know he is a pencil necked geek with taped glasses and a pocket protector that can actually do voice over work.

I mean give me a break ESPN. STOP with the stupid "cute" cuts on "sports journalism". Actually report it and stop telling jokes you friggin morons. Stop insulting us with bad writing and poor delivery too.

Please tell Berman to go into retirement. Only on NFL PrimeTime is he really good. He's watchable then. Everything else, including baseball, he's horrible.

Monday, July 13

I've decided I am going to blog what I think. If I put a status up there every time on facebook, that I had a thought, coherent or not, people would get annoyed with me.

Today, I've decided that I am done dating. I attract psychos like flies on shit, I swear. I am so cancelling my dating insurance now. I do have a profile on chemistry.com but I will passively work on that.

I am working on a dating blog and will post the link to that. I need to capture all the psychos I've dated. Actually some are not psychos just clueless when it comes to dating, but I digress.

I may start my search for a mail order bride. At least I know I'm getting something for my money. With dating, it's a crapshoot, literally. I think I have better odds in Vegas than I do with dating.

Oh, and how is it that an IT (information technology) contractor can get away with billing a company for 7 years and still keep a job? That's a rhetorical question folks, I really don't need an answer.

I am done for now. I'll post more later.

Monday

Shopping is done finally.

I will update the entire blog with pictures to accompany the days and trips.

I am so ready to go home. I am packed, sitting in the comfort of my air conditioned room, with breakfast in me.

I have 2 hours to go before I check out and complain about the room service, the security and long wait times on the phone.

I am looking forward to my own bed tonight and picking up Ginny tomorrow.

Sunday

Don’t try this at home kids.

I got up, hit the breakfast buffet and decided to wait for an omelet. It was good. I had some French toast and bacon with it.

I go back to my room and I cannot get in. Even the help could not get in. The security guy had to come and change out the infrared lock. I had to sit outside for 10 minutes while I waited for him to get there. Once it was finally done, I called guest services and nobody answered. When I say, nobody, I mean nobody answered after 20 rings. I was not happy considering the lock failed and such. Everything on the lock is changed out and it finally works.

I get ready for the beach, pack up my stuff and walk down there, find a spot and a cervezas. I run into two dudes from Vancouver there with their girlfriends. We end up playing water volleyball, which is quite hard. We had a blast and it was a great way to start my day.

I spent some more time at the beach, listening to music, drinking beer and swimming. It was paradise to say the least.

I finally hit the lunch buffet which was actually good. Lots of fresh fruit available and stuff off barbeque grills.

Back to the beach it was after lunch for more of the same.

I head back to the bar and swim up to it, to get a beer. It was there that I ran into a couple from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. What are the odds of that! They were there on their honeymoon and were very nice. The Boston girls showed up finally and the bar pool was the place to be.

My time there was cut short however. I decide to swim to the bar and the water is really shallow and I doink my head on the bottom. I was bleeding, so Kristen, one of the Boston girls helps me out, gets a napkin to stop the bleeding. Security was called and they drove me to the medical facility. The doctor there was a nice lady who took care of me quite well. I have stitches in my forehead from it. It all cost me $326, so don’t attempt that swim maneuver at home kids. I will file a claim with my insurance company when I get back.

I get my stuff from the pool and head back to the room, all the while being escorted by security.

I pass out from all the drama and beer. I slept all nite until 2:00 A.M. I couldn’t sleep then for about 2 hours, and finally fell back asleep around 4:30. I got some serious rest though, which is good.

I had a dream that my cats were fat from eating all weekend!!! Too funny!

Saturday Excursion

I kept hitting snooze on my alarm in the morning and then had an “oh chit” moment and realized that I needed to be in the lobby by 7:25 for my excursion.

I hurriedly showered, got dressed and headed down there. The Indy couple was on this trip. We all piled into the tour bus, wondering what we got ourselves into. The bus, made 3 more stops to pick up more people.

Finally, we had a full bus and were on our way to Saona Island off the coast of the DR. My resort is on the east side of the island and Saona Island is on the west. Little did we know that our excursion included a 2 hour transit through some very rough areas of the DR. I saw dilapidated homes, sugar cane fields, and bare country with cattle grazing in the pasture. It was quite interesting to say the least. I met one “couple” from West Virginia. They were just friends but traveling together which was awesome. They were very nice. There were these four girls from the Bronx traveling together. It was nice to single people around, as I am in couple land down here. I’ve found more newlyweds that other here. They were a blast and very nice people all the way around. Somewhere on my camera are pictures of them.
We get to the “port”. We are immediately accosted by people selling their wares. I ended up buying a beach towel for 20 bucks, as I left mine in the room. I thought they would be provided. I was wrong.

A few pics from the road.





A picture of the catamaran.


We board a small boat to get to the Catamaran. On the boat, we get all of our passengers the catamaran. Soon we pull away from shore and I look around. The catamaran was packed with tourists and an army of 5 people with video cameras and digital cameras. The local music started playing over the loud speaker and the workers started getting people to dance, pulling them up to dance. Naturally, I danced as I love attention. I attempted to swivel my hips to the music. It was a lot of fun. The rum and coke was being served in a plastic cup as they walked by. I forgot to eat breakfast so I got a couple of sprites in me and then hit the rum and coke. The cervezas were chilled and ready, so I switch to that. The trip to the island was about 2 hours. So basically for 4 hours I was on a bus and then on a catamaran and not even on the island. One of the girls that was taking photographs helped me with the suntan lotion. As of this writing that worked wonders, i.e. 70SPF.

This is me on the catamaran.


We got to the island, dropped off by small boat from the catamaran. I park my things, find the restroom and get the particulars on what is going on. I have no watch, no cell phone, nothing to tell me what time it is.

Naturally, I head to the water almost immediately. It was so freaking beautiful there. It was an amazing place to visit. Lunch was finally served buffet style. It was so good!! It was way better than the resort food. The pork chops were amazing!!! I have not tasted pork chops that good. I tried everything, even this tuna wrapped in aluminum foil. It was good and I don’t like fish. It was all good and needless to say, for once, my eyes were not bigger than my stomach. I ate tons of food. I wish I could describe how delicious it was. I was literally full afterwards.

More water time and picture taking was in store after my lunch. I found all the couples from the tour bus and took pictures for a lot of them. There was a couple from Spain, one from Greece, West Virginia, the Bronx girls and Indy. Quite the eclectic group I should say.

Around 2 we were all getting anxious to get back to the hotel. Little did we know what was in store for us. We had this hour pit stop in a natural water pool. I was thinking, OK, let’s get this over with so I can get back to the resort. I am SO glad we stopped there. That made the whole trip worthwhile. It was amazing!!! I cannot explain what it was like to stand in water that was waist high, clear and barely any land around. I did not want to leave. We were all tired by the time we were heading there and everyone’s energy perked up 100%.

A few pictures from the natural swimming pool.





The Bronx girls eluded to the fact that legend has it, if you pick up a starfish, you will get pregnant, or something like that. I thought that was hilarious!! Anyway, we stopped at this place there were starfish around for all the boats that stopped there to have a starfish to pass around. I wonder what the starfish thought of all that. Later, one of the Bronx girls was allowing our tour guide’s son to float in the waster. We all joked that the star fish was really fertile.  Anyway, of course, more rum and coke was served. We were all wandering in the water with plastic cups of rum and coke. That hour pit stop made it all worthwhile. I was so happy after that. All the things on my mind melted away after that. I was genuinely happy at that moment. The forthcoming pictures will show how magnificent it was!!

To get back to the “port”, we took a speed boat instead of the catamaran. I thought I would be scared of it, but it was quite relaxing. We ended up racing 2 other speed boats back to the port. I kept thinking how happy I was to be where I was. I have a saying that goes back awhile. I was “right where I wanted to be”.
We eventually made it back to port and to our bus. Of course, there were people selling their wares, from hats to boxes of cigars. I bought nothing except ice cream bars for the Bronx girls and myself. We made one last stop on the way back to the resort to do some shopping at a single store. I ended up getting some things there to take home.

Another “pit” stop was a view of a cock fighting ring. I was not impressed. Large sums of money are bet there from what we were told.

Needless to say, we were back at the resort by 7. One couple was freaked out being dropped off at intersection in the middle of nowhere. Finally, their pick up bus showed so they exited. The dude was inebriated and making a scene. He and his wife were sweet.

Our next stop was to drop off another contingent of people. Amongst those were the Bronx girls. They were so much fun.

I got back to the resort, took a shower, cleaned up and found that the resort buffet was closed.  I called room service and the phone rang and rang and rang. Finally someone picked up. Needless to say I was perturbed. I got a burger and fries and of course the complimentary cervezas in the fridge. I was “satisfied”. I am off to see what is going on.

I land at one of the bars for my beer. I found four women from Boston that I chatted up. I left them for the sports bar to see how Cleveland and LeBron would far in Orlando. It was not good as the end result dictated.

I stopped by the casino and put down 20 bucks. I bet 11 as I always do. The first couple of times it did not land. Finally it hit. Again, it hit back to back. I then put 2 bucks on 4 for April, my dad’s birth month. That hit. I stopped as I was $100 bucks up, cashed in. I was over $100 bucks up, so that was nice.

I went back to find the boston girls. They were still there and we ended up going to the disco. We danced the night away, having a blast.

Friday Day and Night

I finally found the beach. I got propositioned by the towel girl for some reason. She wanted me to call her. The beach is magnificent!! I cannot believe I am here. I figured out where the beer was, where a good spot to hang out was and messed around in the water a lot. The pool itself has bar stools to the bar. I love that!!!

Lunch time was a buffet of sorts and I ended up hanging out with Leann and Ray. Leann is a RN and Ray a constable from Delaware. Ray has been a constable for 35 years.

Later, I met a couple from Indianapolis, Dan and Ordana, newlyweds as well. They are very nice, cute couple. It appears that this resort is littered with couples. I have found few singles yet. I also met a nice couple from Oklahoma City. We hung out at the pool and drank of course until the pool bar closed. They mentioned something about a “white” party at the disco, so I was intrigued.
Later, I hit the buffet and it was marginally better than the first night. I have to compare the food to what you get on a cruise and the cruise food was way better.
After lunch, I took a 30 minute power nap upon the suggestion of Leann. It worked wonders. I brought the powder stuff for Propel to mix with my bottled water and I was good to go.

They stock our rooms with soda, beer (“Bohemia Especial”) and water. All of this is on the house per se.

Also, the casino was very lame, so that’s good considering I like to gamble.
I stopped into a bar and ended up talking to two people, literally from Iowa. One guy, was from Davenport and one girl, was from Forest City, now living in Tennessee. Her brother moved there so she followed.

I got dressed, hit the buffet and then headed to the plaza area to see what was going on. The Lakers/Nuggets game was on, so I hit the sports bar. After the game, I wandered up to the disco and did some meringue dancing, which was fun. I had a lot of beer Friday night and eventually passed out around midnight.

Friday Morning

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was back in Houston and reoriented myself to my surroundings and went back to bed. I finally got up at 8:45, knowing that I had to be in the lobby at 9:45 to figure out my transportation back to the airport on Monday.

It turns out, this was a resort presentation about activities that are offered. There is a catamaran excursion for tomorrow that I am going to take. It is $89 and I am so going to do it. I cannot wait. It leaves at 7:45 and returns around 6. Lots of sunscreen, a camera and plenty of smiles is on tap for that.

I am noticing that it defaults my language on the computer to espanol each time I bring it up. Interesting.

I don’t know if I will do any other excursion. That is all for now.

A view from my room.



A view of the beach.

Thursday, Arrival to the DR

Donce dreenk zee vater.

Getting off the plane was surreal. We literally climbed down a ladder to the tarmac and found someone to shepherd us in. We paid the $10 entry fee to get in and next was customs. Surprisingly, customs was not that big of deal. Finally, I got my bag and had to find the “tour” bus to take me to the hotel. I got in with some fine folks from Louisiana. Great people and they got us together to where our bus had only people going to this resort on it. I am learning to tip around $1 for anything that people do for me.

I got checked in. I really didn’t like the room that they had for me, which had a view of I am not sure what. I called them and told them I didn’t like it. They upgraded my room for free to a pool side view. Nice. I made sure to tip the front desk people for that. One U.S. dollar is approximately 35 pesos. I found cervezos finally as well. The local beer, Presidente is on the house. Corona, $5. I had a corona and then switched to the free beer.

Here are a couple of room pictures.





I determined that the DR is 3 hours ahead of Houston time, so I am adjusting to that.
Naturally, I wandered around to get a lay of the land so to speak. I had a couple of beers. Finally I got hungry and found the buffet. It was fair at best. I had some pork that I swear tasted like Pine Sol. I ate it as I was hungry. I loaded up on mashed taters and fries and some rice, and of course beer.

I stopped at the business center to check out internet access. Get this!! It is $25 for 24 hours of internet. It is not calendar based, but usage based, meaning 24 hours of internet connectivity. How cool and cheap is that!! I realized that while I did bring the charger for my camera, I did not bring my USB cord for it, to download pictures.

I went back to the room, finally unpacked my stuff. I figured out the safe, which is free. It does hold my laptop, so I was very happy about that!!

After that, I took a shower, changed clothes and wandered to the beach around 9:00. I love the beach at night for some reason. Nobody was out there. I just sat there listening and watching the stars. It is amazing that the water doesn’t stop.

I next found the sports bar for more cervezos. Yes, they have a sports bar. I was so excited!! The Cavs/Magic game was on. I ended up hanging out with some girls and some dudes that were watching the game feverishly. It turns out there are several people from Boston here.

A lot of people are smoking cigars here. I guess this country is renowned for its cigars. I found myself wanting to have one. I may get one tonight.

I’ve learned that I really like talking to the people that work here. They remember me and treat me like gold. It is refreshing. Their smiles seem genuine to me.

Miami Flight

I am sitting in first class. Breakfast was great. I had the choice of an omelet or pancakes. I chose the pancakes. It was pancakes, sausage, and a fruit bowl of melons and cantaloupe. Breakfast was good and the coffee was good as well.

I am watching Marley and me with Jennifer Aniston and what’s his name.

The first class flight attendant was so nice, great service. The towel service will be soon. I cannot believe I am headed to the Dominican Republic, flying first class no less. The ride as we went over Florida is a bit bumpy, but I do not mind it.

I still cannot remember this dude’s name. Owen Wilson. I cheated and looked at the American Airlines magazine.

The Miami airport is very nice. They have these Samsung pods where you can plug in your laptop. No more sitting on the floor in a walkway to find an outlet. All airports need this!

I really wanted a beer, but was hungry. I got a croissant and a mountain dew instead. There is a bar next to my gate, so maybe I will go there next. I think this is the second time I've been to Miami. Both times I flew first class ironically.

I checked to see if my first class ticket would get me into the Admirals club, but it only does that on International flights basically not to the Caribbean. It would've been $50. I may do that on my way back however. I believe I have a long layover in Miami on Monday.

I bought some postcards for a friend at work, whose son collects postcards from around the world.

This is a picture of me in first class.

DR Trip Airport Check In

I am checked in, first class!!! I love my U.S. passport. That thing is GOLDEN!! It took me no time to get checked in, through security and to starbucks. I have a starbucks in hand right now.

My driver, Hillman, hooked me up, dropped me off. He is an old driver for me that I used to use all the time when I flew every week. He is a good driver and had a swanky ride today. It was a very nice Tahoe, leather interior. He was totally on time!!

Not much else to report here. I am just people watching, looking to see who is going to be on the plane. I wonder what first class will look like. I've flown first class on Continental many times but never American.

I will leave you with this:
Is the feeling of anticipation greater than the feeling you get when you reach reality?

Friday at the AVP Tournament in Houston

I had a GREAT weekend!!

Thursday night, my professional beach volleyball players arrived at my house. The AVP was in Houston for a tournament and they needed a place to stay. I volunteered so I had GREAT, I mean GREAT guests for the weekend.

They had one stop at the Boys and Girls club of Houston after their arrival. Crocs is giving away shoes to millions of children worldwide and my guests were doing their part to help this cause!!!

After settling in I took them to Houston's restaurant. It is a chain and has great grilled artichokes. My friends ordered the grilled artichokes as appetizers. One of them actually found a "grilled" worm in her artichokes. She hurriedly sent it away with the waitress. The manager promptly came over and apologized profusely for the error. They wanted more artichokes because the odds of finding one worm is almost like winning the lottery. Another round of artichokes showed up and guess what? Another worm was found. I know, like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Regardless, we got a free meal and dessert out of that deal. The meal itself was fantastic and the desserts even better! The girls were so positive that they looked at it as a free meal.

You have to remember, these players do not make a lot of money, contrary to popular belief, so anything free, i.e. lodging and meals is a bonus!!

Friday morning, they got up before me and yes cooked breakfast. I had this oatmeal, eggs, avacado, tomato surprise that was cooked by one of them. It was very good. One of the players eats really fast and was done in a flash. I didn't finish quite as quick, but was pleasantly surprised at how good it tasted.

They had a 9 o'clock game, so they left promptly thereafter. I made it to the game by 9:05ish. I was the only one cheering them on. I thought they didn't hear me, but yet after the game, they told me they could. :) The first match was a win for my newfound friends. They entered the tourney as 17 seeds. Their next match was against the number 1 seed in the tournament.

Later, against the number 1 seed they lost 21-14, 21-18. That second game I think showed me the potential they had. To stretch a number 1 seed like that, was amazing.

They were 1-1 with a contenders bracket match later.

I wandered around the campus looking for a game. Later, their game was up on court 2 to see who gets to play on Saturday. Unfortunately, they lost. I was so bummed. All my friends there knew I was bummed. I so wanted them to win, so they could go back to my house, relax and get ready for a 10:00 match the next morning. Fresh legs, a scouting report and ready to advance in the tournament.

I ended up watching a match with Jenny Kropp in it. Jenny happens to be from Nebraska, where I was born and spent most of my adult life in. I ended up rooting for her and noticed one more fan. It was her beloved mommy cheering her daughter on. After the match they won, I was talking to her mom and found out she knows my cousins back in Nebraska. Wow what a small world.

I ended up going back to the house with my guests. I took them out for a dinner so they could have "beer". We had a great time, talking life, volleyball, my dating life and other things. I was so blessed!!!

Friday, I realized I didn't butter up enough as my face was very red.

What a great day I had, watching my new friends play a sport I love and do so freaking well!!!

Introduction

I am Kelito!

NO, this is not anything like Carlito's Way!!

This is my way through life. I have many interests and I write off the cuff. Deal with the grammar and spelling.

A little about me. I am:

• An attention hoe
• Sports fanatic (Red Sox, Cornhuskers, 49ers, Celtics and Bruins fan)
• Amateur sand volleyball player (2 on 2)
• IT Professional (Save a Computer, Ride a Geek)
• Artist (Acting and Painting)
• Comedian (Yeah my jokes blow chunks, but I don't care)

Enjoy my opinions.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, some just stink.