Douchebags and hot chicks

I go out a lot and I regularly see douchebags with the hot chick. It is as normal as the clear blue sky. What most don't realize is that those girls are usually thrill seekers. Meaning, they look for that guy that rides his bike really fast, lives on the edge, has tattoos and things like that. She may be hot, but in reality she is probably very emotionally insecure and thus seeks thrill and adventure to offset that.

Now we also see these type of couples where said douchebag really treats the girl bad. We think, why is she with him. He's a douchebag. This goes back to the insecurity. We see a beautiful woman and she sees an ugly woman in the mirror. She probably figures she cannot do better and also gets to do thrill seeking things. His indifference to this is what attracts her.

Let me explain. I explained this concept of "holding your cards" to someone the other day. They lamented "I do not play games." You are not playing games. You are just showing a little bit of yourself at a time. After all, relationships build over time. You show more and more of yourself as time progresses. Showing more and more of yourself as time progresses is a means of "holding your cards".

From a woman's perspective, which I am not, while that independent streak is good to grow your career and/or family, it may not be good in attracting a mate. Hear me out on this one. Most guys are emotionally wired to be providers. Food, clothing shelter. I know we are in a day and age where that is not necessary. Women now are doing that role. However, even if financially, women are providers, emotionally, I think the source of strength is from the guy. One person in the relationship has to be a dominant one and the other not as much. This is not predicated upon the financial part, but the emotional part. You may say, that the man is not the emotional one in the relationship. They are not. However, most guys want to be the proverbial "knight and shining armour" in the relationship. That is a clash with the independent streak.

We, men, also like the chase. I believe that this goes back to the caveman days of being the hunter and gatherers. This chase does include chasing a girl who we really like. Ladies, if you give out all your cards right up front, what is there to chase? You are not playing games, you are just slowly showing what you are made of.

I know from personal experience, my best relationships have been where I have been that Knight that source of strength. I really reveled in it.

Now, going back to the douchebag. He is probably somewhat "take it or leave it" in the relationship. However, he is the strength and that is what draws the girl to him. She probably has insecurities and is attracted to that strength and of course that thrill.

I don't suggest men go out and by leather pants and a harley. However, I do suggest that the proverbial nice guy never gets laid. To quote the TV show 'Two and Half Men'. "Nice guys don't finish last, they finish in the shower." What dudes need to realize is that you do not have to be mean to a girl to get her attention. You just have to not be so nice. If you are a kiss ass, you are not going to get attention, you are going to get her problems, namely, her last boyfriend did this and her family problems.

Get attention by not paying attention. The best way to get a woman's attention is to ignore her. If it is to easy to get your attention, then she doesn't have to work. I mean really. Why did she get all dolled up, go out to the bar with her girlfriends and not make a guy work. Notice her, strike up a conversation but act disinterested. She didn't do all that work just to have a guy slide easily into conversation and kiss him. She got dolled up to make you work and you should work. To counter that to get her to look at you, show disinterest and honestly flirt with other girls too.

That is another tip. Do not zone in on just one girl. Spread that flirting around. This shows the girl that she has to work for you.

So all in all the douchebag does get the hot chick cuz, he is ambivalent, makes her work for that and doesn't show all his cards readily. Yes, the dude had the bike. For whatever reason, hot chicks love speed. However, that only lasts so long. Other things weigh in too as I have said before.