Internally positive

I sit here outside feeling blah. Bad night last night two beer dinner. Yes. That was it. I had great positive energy and the I posted a risqué joke of mine on facebook accidentally. It was meant as a message not on a thread. Needless to say the response was bad and I deleted it. Oh well. I felt judged and when I get judged I feel mad at first and then depression kicks in. Even further I go into massive fear of rejection mode. It got sort of smoothed over later but not really.
This morning I had this feeling that it is going to be a good day in spite of the previous night. It's like the negativity is a virus but the positivity is fighting that virus. It is a challenge to say the least but seems to be working. Read my post about the switch for those that think you can just turn that smile on internally. I can do it externally but internally is hard. Oh well. Anyway I need to go back to work. More later. Thanks for reading.


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